When people are asked what the difference between wants and needs are, they usually say that needs are things that are necessary in life and wants are things that aren’t necessary. That sounds logical enough, but I see things differently. I think that our wants are the strategies we use to seek fulfillment of our needs. The specific thing we are wanting may not be something that we can’t live without, but what we are really seeking beneath that want is a need that we can’t live without.
I should first say that when I refer to the concept of needs, I am referring to the needs listed in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Some people would say that only the basic physical needs (e.g. food, water, shelter, air, clothes) count as needs, but I disagree. In my opinion, prisoners who are tortured for hours on end but who are given food, water, clothes, and a 3′ x 3′ jail cell with a small window to live in may have their most basic physical needs fulfilled, but they’re pretty much worse off than somebody who is in a coma in the hospital. My point is that although the basic physical needs are important, the non-physical needs listed in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, such as respect, self-esteem, health, security, friendship, and family, are just as important.
Anyway, back to wants vs. needs. Let’s take, for example, that high school kid who wants a firecracker red sports car with chrome rims for his 16th birthday. Almost everybody would say that he doesn’t need it, and yes, that includes me too. I don’t think he needs a sports car, but I do think that he has a need that he’s trying to fulfill by getting a sports car. On the surface, it looks like he wants a sports car. Beneath the surface, there is much more to the story. What he is seeking includes respect from his friends; a feeling of value, self-worth, and confidence; and perhaps even expression of creativity. There are many methods through which he could fulfill these needs, but the strategy he is using is getting a sports car. Whether or not a sports car is the smartest choice is up to speculation, but regardless, beneath his want for a sports car lies an undercurrent of multiple needs. If you’re able to see what it is he is truly seeking, you’ll be able to see more than a young boy who wants a fast car. You’ll see a boy who trying to take steps towards becoming the person he wants to be: someone who is respectable, valuable, and creative.
To give an example of my own personal life, something I want is a giant closet full of clothes, shoes, and accessories. On the surface, it would be very easy for a random stranger to think that I’m just a vain, materialistic person who cares too much about what other people think of how I look. But beneath the surface lies a person who has had an inclination towards art since she was a child. This giant closet may be something I want, but the need that lies at the core of this want is creative expression, and one of my most recent outlets for this creativity is fashion. Yes, there are other ways that I could fill my need for creativity, like going to the park and dancing, doing creative writing, drawing ketchup pictures on a napkin, or making a massive lego statue, but at this point in my life, I really want to be artistic via fashion. When it comes down to it, it’s not any one of those specific things that I need, it’s the expression of creativity that I need.
So next time you hear somebody saying that they are wanting something that you think is ridiculous, petty, or superfluous, take a moment to figure out what it is that they are needing beneath the surface. And the next time you notice yourself wanting something, take a moment to figure out what it is that you are needing beneath the surface. Doing this, you’ll be able to understand yourself and other people on a much deeper level.
Food for Thought
What things do you want in life? Which needs are your wants seeking to fulfill? What other ways can you fulfill those needs?
